"Life isn't about surviving the storm...it is about learning to dance in the rain." anonymous

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Well, it has been a long while since I posted. I think I needed an emotional break for a time. In the past few months, I have found out that although my FSH levels are completely normal after a Clomid Challenge test, my AMH level is low. Which means that I don't have very good ovarian reserve. So, I feel so anxious every month knowing that my eggs are just dwindling away!
I tried Femara for 2 months and Ovidrel (Hcg trigger) one month, but didn't have any luck. I actually called a psychic medium on Sirius radio ( that is how crazy I have become) and she told me I would be pregnant in June. But, my period started today, so she is very wrong. What in the world was I thinking??
My due date recently came and went and with every period that comes, I just relive it all. Is this normal? It doesn't feel very normal to me. Nobody really understands me and everyone has moved on, except for me.
I am supposed to have an HSG in a few days to make sure my tubes are not blocked, so maybe that will be the answer. In my job, I see so many patients who either don't want the baby they are carrying or don't deserve one. Very frustrating! I actually quit the other day and I think that will bring me to some peace.
Anyway, just had to get some stuff off my mind so that I wouldn't go crazier.


  1. Hugs to you! I'm sorry nobody understands and people have moved on. I hate that feeling. We're here for you whenever you need some support...even if it's just to say you aren't alone. XO

  2. That's the truth...nobody DOES understand unless they have walked in these shoes. You are not crazy! I hope that you find the answers you seek.